G vs. the Mountain Lion

G defended me against a mountain lion.

We went for hike on our camping trip last weekend, and we came upon a sign that warned that we were “in mountain lion country” and listed all the ways one should act should one encounter a mountain lion.

We continued along our way, chatting and taking photos of the scenery. We decided to take a path that rounds the lake. It was a very open and easy route, clearly meant for the most leisurely of hikers. However, we came up to a turn in the road where the brush came grew tall along one side, obstructing the view of what was beyond the side of the path. As we rounded this bend, we suddenly heard a loud, rumbling GRRRRROOOWWWLL.

I promptly screamed and jumped 3 feet to the side before reason kicked in and reminded me that this is exactly what you’re NOT suppose to do. Yes, you’re supposed to make a lot of sound, but rather than scamper and run, you’re supposed to make yourself tall and hold your ground while being loud. You want to show the lion that you are a threat. So once again, we have learned that I have not achieved Bad Ass outdoor woman status.

When I look up to see G though, my darling hubs has acted exactly as he should have. He had taken a couple of steps to the side, putting himself between me and the sound, stood himself up very tall, and was yelling loudly in a controlled methodical way, as opposed shrieks of terror I adopted.

About 30 seconds and a good amount of stomping and yelling later, G came to the realization that we were protecting ourselves from a motor boat in the lake below whose motor was having trouble starting. So it turned out that this was a case of fighting with windmills; however, there is also a moment of truth in here.

G is not a super macho guy. He is much more the intellectual and far more inclined to employ reason rather than brawn in any situation. However, clearly he is also no weakling. For those 30 seconds, we really thought there was a lion crouched in the brush ready to pounce on us, and in this moment G’s reason did not fail him. As far as I’m concerned, G defended me from a mountain lion.

Plus, we had the pleasure of laughing at ourselves and at how ridiculous we must have looked screaming and stomping at a boat, while walking safely back to our campsite. You know . . . as opposed to being mauled to a bloody, gruesome death by a large hungry cat.