A group of friends walked into the woods one night . . .

A couple of weekends ago G and I went out with some friends and challenged many of the principal tenants of the slasher film world. Our friend Josh and his girlfriend had the idea that we should all go for an evening hike and have a picnic. Are you allowed to hike in Griffith Park after sundown? Of course not. I thought this sounded like a great idea.

The funny thing is that everyone in the group fell into appropriate Slasher film rolls, splitting along couple lines. Josh and his girlfriend, B, played the foolhardy instigators.
G and I were both game, but trying to be somewhat sensible and not do anything tooooooooooo crazy. Pulling up the rear, Gino and Sarah made sure to remind us where in the film we were at every step of the of the way. Here’s how our personal slasher flick went:


Our scene opens on group of teenagers – um, I mean adults hovering around 30 – are joking around as they decide to go for a nighttime hike . . .

A non-descript hooded guy sits on the park bench. Clearly we have caught the first glimpse of our villain. It’s only a matter of time before he sneaks up on our hikers with an axe! . . . Or he’s just another hiker in the park after dark, taking a rest on a bench.

Oh no, two coyotes stand in the hikers’ path just up ahead! The demonic, rabid beasts bite one of the hikers unleashing a domino effect that will send the night into a phantasmagoric downward spiral as one after another, the hikers turn into zombies or were-coyote-people. . . Oh, no, wait. . . The coyotes just get out of the way as soon as the group approaches them, and the hikers continue on their merry way.

‘Ok, ok, Let’s remember the cardinal rules of horror flicks:
1. NEVER split up and 2. Stay on the main path, ok guys?'
‘Well, except, um, we think we want to go this way, up this dark, narrow trail.’
‘Um, ok, well, we’re just going to go up the normal way.’
'A’ight, see ya in a few’

And the group found the couple's corpses bruised and bloodied hours later . . . or maybe it was like 5 minutes later . . .and they were totally fine.

And now our protagonists round the dark, creepy corner at the top of the hill to find . . . cue scary music . . . Families . . . Families walking around the brightly lit observatory, enjoying a pleasant Friday evening.

‘This look like a good place to eat to you?’
‘Yeah, I’m STARVING!’
‘Want some wine?’
‘Totally.’
‘Just keep it on the DL. There’s a cop car right behind you.’
‘They’re gone now.’
‘GLUG, GLUG, GLUG’
‘Wanna, check out the Observatory?
‘Sure, I love the Tesla coil!’
‘Damn! It’s shut down for the night!’
‘Apparently, if they turn it on too often it can catch fire.’
‘Oh, no worries. I’ll just fake bribe the guy by offering him a fiver and accuse him of having no clout.’
‘That will never work . . . oh, wait, it did? Seriously?!’
‘Tesla Coil Rocks!!!’
‘So, you guys want to head back down now?’

Our hikers head back down the hill and head for home in happy spirits.

The End


Sure , this was one of those ideas that was either going to turn out terrible or completely brilliant. This time we landed on brilliant. It definitely would not have been as fun had everyone not played their particular role in the adventure. You need someone holding down the fort keeping things rational, but pushing the envelope a little makes it fun, and being a touch scared adds adrenaline.

The truth is that doing something just a little bit stupid every now and again is the best way to make you feel 16 again.